new house

We moved to a new house last week. It is a little bigger than the old house, is a lot closer to Ada's school and my work, and sets us up perfectly to get Ada into one of the public schools we like.

The move went about as well as can be expected considering Elliot had to do the whole thing given my recent knee injury and we are mostly moved in at this point.

We were a little worried that the new house would spook her a little bit. After all, it is bigger. Mom and Dad are further away at night, and the sounds of the new neighborhood are a little different. We were wrong to worry. Ada LOVES the new house. She loves that her new room is bigger, she loves that the house has stairs, she loves her new shower curtain (which displays a map of the world - yes, her mom and dad picked it out), she loves the garage door opener, she loves the extra space in the living room which is perfect for dancing, and she loves telling anyone who will listen that her school is RIGHT OVER THERE.

Just about the only thing Ada doesn't like about the new house is that it rains all the time. I'm just waiting for her to realize that the two don't actually go together.

twinkle toes

We recently attended the wedding of one of Elliot's cousins in Delaware.

Delaware = plane trip = utter Ada happiness

Besides preparing for the plane trip, Ada also had to prepare for the actual wedding. We had to explain what a wedding was (although she has been to a few other weddings, she was only 2 then and she has simply forgotten the joy associated with such occasions). We also explained that the bride wears a fancy white dress, and the guests dress up in nice dresses and suits. This part was extremely exciting for Ada. She takes any chance to get a new dress VERY seriously. So we spent a couple different nights looking for the perfect dress, and when we finally found the purple dress with shimmery fabric that twirled just so, we knew we'd found 'the one'.

We then spent the next few weeks talking about wedding this and wedding that. The parents of her friends at school asked us (with a hint of joking) why Ada was getting married (that's what she told her friends).

And then the big day finally arrived. You would have thought Ada was actually getting married by the amount of energy she had. She was curious about the ceremony. She watched it very intently. And she was bored at the cocktail hour - can't really blame her, she is not yet of legal drinking age and it wasn't until we hit the dining room that Uncle Paul decided to indulge her in a fruit juice concoction. Of course some of the boredom came from the fact that she knew that the dining room portion included dancing. I must have mentioned it at one point during the prep weeks and Ada clung to this with unfettered abandon.

When the moment finally arrived where we were able to get into the dining room, Ada took a few quick moments to play with her new found second cousin, Ava, and then she landed in the spot she would not leave for the rest of the night - the dance floor.

Ada usually likes music with a beat, something she can really move her little booty to. However, she did not let the mundane almost sedate dinner music stop her. Nope, she did her best to channel the contemporary dancers she has seen on 'So You Think You Can Dance' while she danced the ENTIRE dinner hour. She and her new found cousin Ava entertained all of the wedding guests resting only long enough to hop over to our table to grab a quick bite before heading back out to the dance floor. She worked so hard you would have thought she was getting paid.

Once the rest of the wedding decided it was time to dance she got a little mad because she no longer had the floor all to herself but soon got over it. She then proceeded to meet and dance with EVERYONE at the wedding. If I was ever afraid that Ada had a bit of shyness I need not worry. She worked that party like a polished politician. Dancing with some, chatting up a few others, showing her stuff during the cha cha slide, and basically becoming the second biggest star of the wedding (the blushing bride being the number one).

I think it is safe to say a performer has been born.

healing kisses

I hurt my knee on Halloween evening, playing soccer, not trick-or-treating. That would be a much better story. Ada has a tendency to shy away from me whenever I'm hurt. I don't know if she is afraid she'll hurt me more, or she is scared because she just saw mommy crying and that doesn't happen all that often. Whatever it is, she wouldn't even look at me after I hurt my knee.

But she was taking all of it in.

Once she got in the car with Elliot she was full of questions about what happened, and then was able to talk through it with Papa later on while they were trick-or-treating together.

And then anytime since when she has seen an ambulance, or joined me for one of my doctor's appointments.

She has it down.

And now that she is comfortable with the amount of information she has about this ordeal she is OK talking to me, and looking at me.

I even get a healing kiss on my knee every night.

What a long way she has come in 5 days..

singing voices

I'll admit it - I'm a car singer. I don't even care if I'm traveling with other people, if a song comes on that I like - or even just happen to know the words - I'm singing along like I'm the next big star.

This has apparently rubbed off on Ada. Although she doesn't seem to care if it is a song on the radio or a song in her head. She hears music and she is singing.

Tonight as we drove home from work/school she asked me to sing a couple of songs with her. As we were belting out our version of the ABC's - way off key and a little loud - Ada piped up: "Rockstars sing really loud, so if I sing really loud I'm a rockstar" (the volume took an even louder turn). Next she piped up with: "When girls sing with their eyes closed they sing loud". I'm only guessing that she had her eyes closed because the volume once again hit a new level. I was eventually saved by a phone call (thank you built in Bluetooth) otherwise I'm not sure I'd have a voice left.

Fast forward to later in the night as we drove home from my soccer game. Ada starts to sing "The wheels on the bus" with what can only be described as the most interesting crowd ever present on a bus. She had an alligator, a bear, a wizard, a Daddy (who reads), a Mommy (who shushes), a baby, a big girl (who plays), and a Dinosaur. Until suddenly in the middle of the dinosaur stomp stomp stomping, Ada stops mid stanza with a request: "Can we turn on the radio? Loud?"

Apparently everyone is a critic.

rain

We have had a lot of rain in San Diego lately. And by a lot, I mean about a fifth of what Seattle and Vancouver normally get.

Ada has noticed the rain and is a little perplexed. Almost every night this week we've had the following conversation:

Ada: "Why is it raining"

Either Elliot or I: "Well the clouds were full so they are letting out some water to make more room."

"Why?"

"Well the sun shines on the water and brings it up into the sky, and the clouds can only hold so much water."

"Why?"

"Well, they are only so big. Plus the water helps things grow."

(after a series of other Why questions)

Ada: "But why is it raining in San Diego? It rains a lot in Seattle, but not in San Diego."

I swear, we aren't brainwashing her.

oh isn't that cute

Ada's class has started to take field trips to the local library every week where the kids get to pick out a book to bring home for the week. This week Ada brought home a book of baby animals with a picture of baby Cheetah on the front. As we were driving home from school the other night Ada was quietly "reading" through her library book as Elliot and I chatted about our days.

Then all of a sudden we heard a very adult little voice coming from the back. You could hear her turn the page and then say, "Oh isn't that cute". Page flip "Oh how cute!". Page flip, and so on.

Turns out she picked up the baby animal book because it was "Cute". I'm sensing a new phase in our lives.

At least it will be... Cute.

just like each other

The other day Ada and I were hanging out in the front seat of the car and she was showing me all of the scrapes on her legs. After pointing out three nice ones on her shin she turned to me and said, "I'm just like you mommy, we both have a lot of scrapes on our legs." So true.

And before I could add anything to her little discovery, she said, "I'm also just like Daddy. We have the same boobies. Little ones. "

negotiations

As a parent 'Teachable Moments' come along almost every hour. I'm a dork. I love these moments. Which means that I often see a chance to teach something to Ada that most parents wouldn't think of teaching a four year old. Our daily subtraction lessons are some of my favorite moments (and Ada's as well since it involves eating yummy things) and to give Ada credit she often puts up with my absurd exuberance around seemingly mundane activities, playing along, because apparently Mommy isn't such a big fan of "Princess Froggie" but LOVES to play "School".

Well last night as we loaded up the car to head out to the grocery store I laid the plan out for Ada. First we were going to do our grocery shopping, and then after that we were going to fill up our water jugs. To which Ada flatly replied, "How about we fill up the water jugs first and then go shopping." It is worded like a question, but really it was a statement, Ada's way of stamping her full control on the family activity. And if you think about it, that change didn't really matter, we were going to do both either way and the order doesn't really matter. However, it was at this moment that I thought "Ah, teachable moment, let's start her training in negotiation" (I know, what the heck was I thinking). Here is how that conversation went:

"How about we fill up the water jugs first, and then go shopping."

"Well, I'm open to negotiate that"

"What?"

"Negotiate, it means to offer an alternative with conditions attached"

"Huh?"

(Elliot stepping in) "Well you could say, If we fill up the water jugs first, then I'll sit quietly in the cart while we shop, or I'll eat all of my dinner.. get it?"

"Oh, yeah..."

(back to me) "Ok, so what are you going to offer up as a concession in the negotiations?"

"Huh"

"What are you going to trade for filling up the water first?"

"Oh.. (very confidently) I'll eat all of my dinner."

(Seeing an opportunity to flip the negotiations around) "OK, we are having avocado for dinner" (Ada hates avocado)

"No, I'll have something different"

"Dinner isn't negotiable, we are having avocado"

"But I don't like avocado, why would you make me have avocado"

(Elliot helping out again) "Why don't you offer an alternative dinner?"

"Umm"

(back to me) "OK, how about we have salmon and spinach for dinner?"

(Getting the hang of this negotiation thing) "Well, how about broccoli and salmon"

"You got it, but you have to eat everything that we put on your plate. If you don't then you have to sleep on the bottom bunk and go to bed early"

"OK" (confident that she could handle both salmon and broccoli)

At this point, I thought to myself, I could push this further and pile on a whole lot of both to her plate just to teach her that she has to be aware of all parameters of the negotiation (I'm such a mean mom). And just as I was finishing this thought Ada piped up with, "OK, but it has to be a whole lot of salmon and just a little of broccoli."

It was as if she had read my mind. AND she totally figured out the whole negotiating thing, at least in that instance. I love watching Ada actually get something like this. You can almost see the light bulb on top of her head.

Of course I'll regret this day somewhere down the line when Ada turns these skills on me while we battle out her teenage years. If last night is any indication - I'm screwed..

back when I was three...

As the world all knows, Ada turned four this past August. We made a big deal about this around our house - mostly so we could use it to guilt her into doing things she was a 'little bit nervous about', like going potty by herself, or turning on the lights in her room, fetching a fork from the kitchen on her own.. you know the basic things in life.

Well we apparently made such a big deal about this milestone in her life that Ada has now put down three as an anchor point in her life.

I'm sure behavioral scientists or childhood developmental experts would have some sort of explanation for this, like she is hitting some sort of normal developmental milestone. How boring...

Me, I like to think about the world that just opened up in her mind. Imagine not having a reference point in life, everything just goes together, and you know you are getting better, or that you are going through something for the second or third time but you can't really place it. And then all of a sudden you have a stake in the ground, a reference point. For a kid who goes through life observing and filing away data like it is chocolate bars, I can only imagine how exciting this clarity was to her little mind.

And she isn't afraid to tell us about it either...

"Back when I was three I was in the monkey class"

We went to Sea World and she said "We came her before, back when I was three"

We took a trip to Saskatchewan and she said "I was here before, back when I was three"

We go out to eat and she says, "I had the chicken nuggets here, back when I was three"

She found her Elmo legos amongst her toys, she says "Hey, I got this for Christmas, back when I was three."

Ada's commentary on life is pretty much non-stop and these jaunts back into her early childhood are some of the most endearing parts.

where in I scar my child for life

We recently returned from a quick trip to Saskatchewan. We had a great trip, the weather was actually decent, and Ada is now convinced that Saskatchewan = FUN!

Go figure...

On our flight home we had the pleasure of sharing the plane with lots and lots of fresh military recruits. These guys were easy to spot, fresh faces, new military haircut, look on their face like either they were about to conquer the world, or about to wet their pants. It made for a quiet flight.

We land in San Diego a bit early, get off the plane easily and whip into our airport routine. Elliot jets off to get the car, Ada and I head to baggage claim to get our bag and then wait out on the curb for Elliot. Usually there is a time gap between when we get the bag and when Elliot shows up with the car so Ada and I spend a little extra time with our fellow passengers enjoying the fresh air. Usually this consists of trying to avoid smokers and distracting Ada enough that she doesn't melt down (remember she just left her beloved Saskatchewan AND there is no more prospect of a plane to bribe her with). This time it was slightly different. The drill sergeants were already working their new recruits over right there in front to Terminal 1. We were far enough away that Ada couldn't see the recruits, but we heard the chorus of 'Sir, Yes Sir' ringing through the night air.

Ever inquisitive Ada asked what the Er, Es, Er was and who was saying it. I did my best to have her recount the guys on the plane with the short hair (she didn't really remember) and then I did my best to explain to her the process of boot camp (what I know, Dad I'm sorry if I got this all wrong) and how important it is for the military to break down new recruits so they can build them up to be bigger, stronger, smarter and to make sure that everyone has the same base to work from. I told her it was probably the hardest thing these guys will ever go through, but that it was important, and that they were great and honorable men for making the decision to give their time to our country to defend freedom.

Ada got a bit quiet, and then very solemnly from the back she stated, "I don't ever want to go to boot camp". Realizing that maybe I had made the description a little too stark for a four year old I tried to back peddle, I told her that her Papa had gone through something like that and he was OK.

Ever quick with her logic, Ada's response was simple, "Well, he was a GIANT when he went through it!"

Miss Piggy

Ada has been asking us to play Tinkerbell or Minnie Mouse a lot lately. She'll hand out assignments to all of us, and sometimes her other stuffed animals too and then we'll act out whatever script is in her head. The characters are really a small part of the whole activity, for example, Tinkerbell will often find herself doing push-ups, a very unfairy like thing to do.

So the other night Ada asked me to play Tinkerbell, I hesitated slightly and she took a different tact. She asked me who my favorite character was... I thought and thought and for some reason the following came out of my mouth.. 'Kermit the Frog'. The perplexed look on her face was priceless. Who the heck is Kermit the Frog.

It quickly hit me, Ada had no idea who Kermie is, or any of his other Muppet friends. I tried to explain, but apparently a talking green frog was not all that impressive to this modern day four year old. Then she asked who she could be if we played Kermit the Frog... well that one was easy enough - Miss Piggy! That of course sparked a whole new bout of questions the first and foremost "Who is Miss Piggy". I had done such a horrible job with Kermie that I decided to show her the real thing. I popped open my laptop and pulled up some old Muppet skits on YouTube.

For the next 15 minutes the education of one generation to the next took place. There were so many things I had forgotten about and Ada thought the Muppets were as hilarious as I once did. And Miss Piggy? Well let's just say Ada has a new favorite character!

And Ada and I have a very special new game that we play. I just hope Miss Piggy likes to do push-ups.

who dat?

Today we had a stranger in our house.

She looked like Ada, she smiled like Ada but this person was more like an adult stuffed into a little body.

She woke up cheery and on time.

She got herself out of bed (climbing down the top bunk ladder).

She went potty without someone to keep her company (we told her once she turned four she needed to do it all by herself, she found a loophole telling us that she didn't want help, just company...)

She picked out her own dress AND got herself dressed without any help.

And just when I thought there really might be a stranger controlling her little mind, she called me into her room as she was putting the finishing touches on her outfit for the day and asked in a very matter of fact way, "Mama, when I finish getting dressed will you snuggle with me while I watch Phineas and Ferb?"

I like this version of Ada. Independent, confident, but still showing that when it comes down to it she is still a little girl that needs her time with her Mama (and Daddy - when I finished up my snuggle she asked for Elliot).

one - on - one time

Every once in awhile Ada and I get some time to hang out, just the two of us. This past weekend we had a couple of these (which is rare) and we had a blast. It helped that I knew about the 1-1 time well in advance and was able to have Ada help me out with "planning" our time together.

Our first chunk of time was Saturday evening while Elliot had his curling match. We had a birthday party for one of Ada's friends earlier that day and I wasn't sure if she would even be awake for all of the time at the rink. Ada being Ada, she remembered all of our planning and refused to take a nap - she didn't want to miss a thing!

Now, normally a no nap day results in a cranky Ada right around the time the curling match was set to start so there was a part of me that was dreading the alone time just a bit. But we had a plan, and there is lots of sugar for purchase at the rink so I told myself to let go of the fear, embrace my inner four year old and have at it.

We started the night off with a casual loop around the rink (Ada on skates, me in my curling shoes), with a quick break in the penalty box.

Next we moved on to the vending machine portion of the night. Normally Ada will pick some stickers she wants, or a plastic ring, but this time she went for the claw machines. You know the ones that are impossible to ever win. Well as luck would have it one of the machines had a 'guaranteed to win' feature so we started out with that and got a nice red ball.

We played around with the ball for awhile and then decided it was time for hot chocolate, only, once we got into the snack bar area Ada spotted the Dippin' Dots machine and immediately changed her order to ice cream instead of hot chocolate. To me the two are at opposite ends of the food spectrum but hey, to a four year old I can see how ice cream would trump everything even if I was already freezing.

After making her way through the ice cream Ada decided that I was good enough at the claw game that I could up my difficulty level to one that is not guaranteed to win. The one with the cooler stuffed animal prizes. I had enough quarters for one try. I failed. Then I realized the machine took dollar bills and after about 3 more attempts, we got a cross between a bear and a cow, we call him, "Moooo, I'm a bear". You would have thought Ada found a pot of gold she was so excited about this little bear cow.

Basking in the glow of our victory we went back to the bench to 'take a rest'. Ada was finally starting to admit that she was getting tired. ONLY on our way there she noticed that one of the little vending machines sold stick on mustaches. Of course we had to have one of those. (??) So with our last remaining quarter, we became the proud owners of one adhesive black fuzzy mustache. It was awesome.

The mustache entertained us for a little while on the bench, but in that excitement Ada forgot she was tired. So we told stories, we pulled up the Cha Cha Slide on YouTube on my phone and danced a little bit, we (gasp) watched some of Elliot's curling match, and when we had made sure we had fully annoyed the mother of one of Elliot's fellow curlers (a sure member of the USA 2014 women's team) I decided it was time to run around a little bit.

And run we did. We did a series of about 20, 100 meter races around the end of rink. First Ada insisted on beating me every time, then we went to tying every race. I will give it to her, Ada is really starting to pick up some speed.. she was running so fast that she garnered the interest of a gaggle of three older kids (probably 10 - 12 years old) playing around the rink. So much so that they started to follow us in our races, and finally joining in. Once Ada figured out she had some fans she decided to 'take a break with these guys' and invited herself into their games.

Being the cool mom that I am I stood a safe distance away from the kids so I wasn't hovering, but was also close enough to jump in if it seemed like the play was getting out of the 'safe for a four year old' territory. Ada handled herself wonderfully, she held her own while playing, stayed out of the fights, and didn't try to do anything she didn't feel like she could do.

Let's just hope this wisdom sticks with her through the years.

time

Ada was 6 months old when she started attending her current day care. This put her in the youngest class of kids at the school. It was in this class that she started to walk, started to talk, and really started to show her personality.

Over the past 3.5 years she has slowly made her way up the ranks at the school. Moving to a class where binkys and bottles weren't allowed, another where the precious sippy cup was outlawed. She got introduced to the potty, and the concept of the beautiful world of non-diaper wearing freedom. She also started to actually play with other kids, has built friendships, figured out how to navigate playground dynamics, and has successfully negotiated her way out of her first nickname (Adabeta).

On Monday she will move full time into the OLDEST class at her school. In this class she will learn to write legibly, start to develop her reading skills, and get prepped for the big scary world of Kindergarten.

As much as I am amazed that Ada is now one of those big kids that I used to worry about her sharing a playground with, I am equally amazed at how fast those 3.5 years have gone.

I can't wait to see what challenge she conquers next.

beginning of the end

Ada's school had a teacher in-service day last Friday so the family took the afternoon off and went to Sea World. We have passes so we go a couple of times each year and Ada has a very good memory about all the shows, rides, and animals she sees. It is safe to say that Sea World is one of her happy places.

This is good and bad. Good because we can hold trips to Sea World out there as a carrot when trying to get her to behave for the week. Bad in that she never wants to leave once we get there.

This time was particularly bad because she had only a 20 minute nap under her belt when we entered the park. This should read as "Warning - tantrum and whiny negotiations ahead."

The day was pretty good - we did the Elmo ride, the Shamu show, the Oscar the Grouch ride, the new Dolphin show (classic quote from Ada as we entered the stadium "They did a pretty good job with it"), and then one final turn at the play area where Elliot and Ada had a date on the ropes course. They went through the course once and then came desperately running over to where I was sitting. Ada needed to go potty - NOW! We had rented a stroller for the day (see note about short nap above) so we threw Ada into the stroller, popped a few wheelies, and cut a few corners as close as we could - and got to the potty as fast as was humanly possible.

Random question - why the heck do they not have a massive bathroom in the play area? Or a kid themed one with little potties? Seems like a good idea to me...

Anyway, I digress. After the potty break Elliot and I decided we were ready to head home. Ada however was not really down with this plan and started to enter tantrum, whiny negotiating mode. This is when I went for my go to play for the last four years. When all else fails, make one of Ada's dolls/stuffed animals talk to me, telling me they want to do exactly the thing Ada is refusing to do. So I picked up Ada's new purple dolphin and held it close to my ear.

"What's that dolphin? You want to go home to see Ada's other toys?"

holding dolphin up to my ear

"Yes, that's right, she has two Hello Kitty dolls"

holding dolphin up to my ear

"I know, they do sound cute, we should go home right now so you can meet them."

setting dolphin down in the stroller

"Come on Ada, dolphin wants to go home"

Ada picking up dolphin

"What's that dolphin? You want to stay here and ride the Abby ride with me and Daddy?"

putting dolphin up to her ear

"You don't care about going home yet?"

putting dolphin up to her ear

"You really really want to go play some more?"

"See Mom, dolphin doesn't want to go home, she wants to go play with me!"

sneaky smile spread from ear to ear

Game. Set. Match.

I need to get a new play book.

FOUR

Ada turned four this weekend. Below are some of the highlights:

Pierced Ears! Ada has been obsessed with wearing earrings for about a year now. She will take my longer earrings and hook them over her ears, or she will insist on putting stickers on her ears to pretend that she had real earrings on. The whole 'when to let her get her ears pierced' conversation started about this time last year. We considered three things before going through with this.

First, Ada had to want to get it done. And not just the I want the pretty things in my ears part, but she had to know that it was going to be painful and that she was going to have to make sure her ears stayed clean. We almost did this for Christmas this past year but Ada decided she didn't want the pain (I pinched her ears to simulate the pain). After thinking about it for 8 months she finally decided she wanted to get it done.

Second, Elliot and I had to feel that she was old enough to not rip the earrings out, or wouldn't let us clean her ears. We have a great morning and night routine which Ada sticks to no matter how tired she is and we felt like the ears would be a good part of this routine.

Third, We wanted to get it done before she started playing sports. I know this may sound minor but as a former coach of girls in the prime ear piercing stage let me tell you - it is stressful for the girl and it is a pain for the coach (if they even try to help out). As long as Ada had passed items 1 & 2 before she hit sports age, we wanted to have her avoid this unnecessary stress.

Ada was a champ. There was one moment right before the earrings went in where she remembered the pain, crinkled up her face and said, this is going to hurt... but went through it anyway. She cried for a max of 30 seconds and then was BEAMING with pride. She has been a pro at letting us clean her ears and probably plays with them less than I do.

Wake Up! Ada was so excited about her birthday she went to bed at about 7 the night before (getting up briefly to help me make her cupcakes, but then heading straight back to bed). Then as I was trying to sneak out of the house at 6:30 the next morning to head to the beach to save a spot for her party she saw me (she was wide awake) and exclaimed in her most excited voice "Mom! I'm FOUR!!!" I got her out of bed and brought her to Elliot in our room where I hoped she would let him sleep a little longer. Apparently this didn't happen. She sat there scratching his nose until he opened his eyes and then doing her best impression of her parents said, "If you sit up I'll rub your shoulders for a bit." Needless to say Elliot didn't get much more sleep and they got down to the beach well before the party started.

Party! Ada has been looking forward to her party for a few months now. She stayed unwavering on the Hello Kitty theme and the idea of having it down at the beach. She also insisted on Oreo Chocolate Hello Kitty cupcakes. So that is what we had. We invited all of her little friends from school and ended up with a handful of crazy 4 year olds running around screaming and laughing. It was a blast and Ada had the time of her life. I'm not sure Elliot and I have recovered yet, but Ada is more than likely already planning her 5th birthday party. God help us.

restructures

Ada recently started to take swim lessons. She loves being in the water, and thanks to the invention of water wings has experienced some freedom in the pool this summer. However, we felt that it was about time for her to get some real instruction.

For the next 3 weeks Ada will spend a couple evenings a week working with a swim instructor at the pool near her school learning how to kick properly, move her arms, and to float without the aid of a float belt or water wings.

Ada takes this job VERY seriously. After all, we told her that she can't go down the water slide until she learns how to swim. Who knew that THAT would be the only motivation she needed.

To date she has had two lessons. Both were about the same. Ada putting on her most serious of serious faces, mouth clenched as tight as she can get it, goggles down to cover her eyes, and her little body motoring for 30 minutes straight (no breaks). Perhaps the most hilarious part was watching her balance her desire to stay focused and maintain her serious clenched mouth while also exuding her natural wide grin that pops out when she is having the time of her life. The smile ended up winning and she ended up swallowing a bit of the pool water and spitting all over her instructor.

Along with the seriousness has come a bit of silence. Ada doesn't really want to talk about her swim lessons that much, and has especially shied away from any talk of her instructors.

Until yesterday. The pool that she does her lessons at is in the same park complex where we play floor hockey. We had arrived early for our pick up hockey session and I was walking Ada to the bathroom - a path that takes us past the pool. When we got to the pool Ada correctly stated "Hey, this is where I do my swim lesson!" I responded with a yup.. and did you know this is where Reese's birthday party is going to be. This really REALLY confused Ada. How could there be a party at a pool (oh boy does she have a lot to learn) and as she was throwing the idea around in her head she finally let out what was causing so much consternation.

"Are my restructures going to be there?"

"Your what?"

"My restructures"

"What is a restructure"

"You know, my RESTRUCTURES"

"Uh"

"My restructures, are they going to be there to help me swim"

"OHHHHH Instructors! No, I don't think so, the party is just for fun. You'll just be swimming around with your friends."

Ada got quiet and you could see she was still a little conflicted. Excited at the prospect of a day in the pool without having to go through the grueling kicking and paddling exercises, and a little disappointment that her new favorite pool buddies would not be there.

Some how I think she'll survive.

planner

I guess it should come as no surprise that Ada is a planner. After all her mom and dad make a living around planning and managing large organizations - this has a way of seeping over to the rest of our lives and Ada has picked up on this vibe.

Ada goes all out with her planning, often telling us what we need to say and do as we navigate our way through the day. She'll then repeat this to us several times until the event actually happens and then she will relay exactly how something DID happen, highlighting the parts where mommy and daddy 'got it wrong'.

This love of planning was recently highlighted when Ada lost a new Barbie doll while we were up in San Francisco. We looked high and low for Barbie but she was no where to be found. The adults took in the scenario - figured it was just a doll - a new one that Ada didn't really have much attachment too yet - and discussed a plan to bring the doll back down the following week when our SF friends were already planning on being in San Diego. Now the only thing left was to disclose this plan to Ada. She took it reasonably well, and didn't say much the whole way back to San Diego. It was only the following weekend when we were talking about meeting up with our friends at the beach that she laid out the plan for us.

"Bradee was going to take pictures of Barbie and send them to us"

"Umm, yeah, honey that didn't happen"

ignoring my bad news "and then they are going to bring her to the beach because she was wearing a bathing suit"

"Ahh, honey, they didn't find Barbie, she isn't with them"

Silence...

Silence, that is, until about 10 minutes later. Turns out Ada was formulating a new plan. A better plan. The new plan involves Barbie finally being found, being boxed up, and sent in the mail all the way back down to San Diego in a package addressed to ADA. (Ada loves getting stuff in the mail)

Sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?

Well, Ada called Barbie on her imaginary phone to firm up the details just in case.

the pity button

Due to my work schedule and my school schedule I often miss a lot of the moments that Ada and Elliot share together. They have an amazing bond and every little girl should be so lucky to have a Dad as cool and caring as Elliot.

I often get stories about the games they play together or I'll hear the loud explosions of laughter coming from the living room while I'm on a conference call back in the office. But rarely do I get to witness the joy first hand. Since I'm off from school and had a rare non-working night last night, I got to witness the Ada and Elliot play time live and in living color while I mixed together some banana bread.

Elliot and Ada were both pretending to be frogs, well more specifically Elliot was a toad and Ada a beautiful purple frog. Elliot's toad was first trying to catch Ada's frog. This in itself was pretty funny as Elliot would say "I'm going to push my fast button" and Ada would immediately retort (with peals of laughter) "I pushed my faster button" followed by Elliot countering until he got all the way to his "ridiculously fast button" and the whole house (myself included) erupted into side aching laughter. At some point the frog and the toad joined forces as Ada mistakenly hit the "Alien button". As they tried to escape those pesky aliens Ada found more and more interesting buttons to push.

Ada: "I pushed the head button, we are just heads"

Elliot: "How can we push a different button, we are only heads"

Me (from the kitchen): "Noses!"

Ada: giggling "I pushed the leg button with my nose"

Elliot: "How can we push a different button, we are only legs"

This went on and on, with Ada pushing different buttons and Elliot perfectly interpreting the situation and setting up the next play.

Most of these moves were fairly straight forward - there was a circle button, a cube button, and then out of no where, a curve ball to end all curve balls, Ada exclaimed, "I pushed the pity button!"

I was a little lost at that point, what would Elliot do with that one? Most of his other solutions had something to do with new funny contortions of the body - how would he physically embody pity? Without missing a beat Elliot became very calm, sat up straight and leaned in with a look of genuine concern turned to the aliens and said, "Oh aliens, I'm so sorry, are you OK?"

Ada giggled, and moved on to the next button.

quotable

Last night as we explained to Ada that we had just purchased tickets to visit Nonna Donna in September the following conversation ensued:

"Why are we going on a trip"

"Well, to visit Nonna Donna"

"Yay"

"And so Mommy and Daddy can run in the half marathon"

"Why"

"We like to run in races, it is fun"

pausing and shaking her fingers at us - "You guys should stop running marathons"

Apparently someone is a little sick of being toted around in the jogging stroller and left with a variety of friends while we participate in each race.

I guess it is a good thing that we decided to NOT run in one of our favorite races in San Diego as it lands directly on Ada's birthday!

politeness

We spent this past weekend driving up to San Francisco, hanging out with friends, running a half marathon, and driving back.

That is a LOT of driving for one weekend if you are an adult, and an eternity of driving if you are a small child. Especially if you are then expected to get out of the car, play and basically live with friends you see only twice a year (and boys at that) and since you are a guest at someone else's home you are also expected to be on your best behavior and get this... Polite!

Well that is exactly what we did to Ada this weekend. And she was a politeness rock star. Due to our short time in San Francisco and the need to do all of the prep for the half marathon Ada was left to hang with her new buddies Eli and Ian and their dad, Scott. That's a lot of boys if you are Ada. But she LOVES these boys, she spent the whole drive up remembering how much she loves these boys and so she had a great time.

But she is still an almost four year old kid. And at home there are a lot of manners we are trying to instill. We've had 'Thank You' and 'Please' down for a while but lately she has had to be reminded. A lot. So I was a bit nervous for how all this would play out in the house of boys. Apparently Ada got the "It is not OK to be rude to other people's parents" memo. While we were eating dinner on Saturday night she was asked if she wanted more noodles several times and each time a quiet "Yes, Please" emerged. At one point it got a little ridiculous and she gave Scott about 4 "Yes, please"es in a row.

She also showed that while she has not yet successfully pulled off the "May I please be excused" phrase at home, she is perfectly capable of throwing that down on the table if she is a guest. On Saturday morning when the running crew took off to pick up our numbers I had a quick chat with Ada that went something like this:

"Ada, we are going to the expo to pick up our numbers. We will be fast. But while we are gone, Scott is in charge"

"OK"

"Do you know who Scott is?"

"Yes, EliandIan's dad"

"Yes. He is in charge. You need to do what he says."

"OK"

Well Ada figured that meant he was in charge for the rest of the weekend. And to be fair, he did more than his fair share of kid duty. But in Ada's mind, he was the Grand Pu-Ba of San Francisco. So each time a meal ended. Even if Elliot and I were sitting right there with her, she would turn to Scott and say in the sweetest, most angelic little voice "May I please be excused" and it was only once Scott had acknowledged her and provided permission to leave would she get up to run around like a crazy kid with the boys.

Scott is now invited to come visit us in San Diego any time. In fact, we might get a cardboard cut out of him to place at the dinner table to help Ada.. eh hem.. remember her politeness.

body image

Last night the family had some much needed cuddle time while we were watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' and one of the boys on the show was doing his solo contemporary piece. Ada loves to watch dancing and always has comments on the dancing, or the dancers, but mostly about the outfits. While watching this one particular solo she said "He isn't wearing a shirt". And then threw a sort of quizzical look our way to ask why the heck not?

Ada has always been pretty aware of her body, and like most kids likes to walk around naked, and has even taken to stripping out of her PJs after we put her to bed. So when she shot me this quizzical look I said - well he is a boy so he can dance without a shirt on and he has nice muscles that he likes to show off, sort of like how you like to get naked and show off your beautiful body.

Done and done. Right?

Sort of. Elliot had gone out to the living room to get something and Ada followed him out as she often does. But instead of just running after him, she walked out (she had just had a bath so was in her bathrobe) and as she got close to him opened up her robe and said 'Look at my beautiful body'.

I wasn't there but I'll take Elliot's word that it was just about the cutest and funniest thing she has said in a while and like any father unprepared for the fragility that is a young girls body image he busted up laughing. Laughing so hard that I heard him back in the bedroom. And then I heard Ada.

"This is not funny!"

"I am not funny!"

"My body is not funny!"

By the time I made it out to the living room she was trying to hide herself between the couch and the ottoman. Crying. I felt so bad. I know how she felt. I'm not sure I felt that way when I was almost 4, but I think just about any woman out there has felt that way at one time of another.

It took awhile, but I was able to coax her out of her hiding place and cuddle her, and get her to tell me what had hurt her so bad. And she was so genuine and so hurt. And now I was hurting for her, and for Elliot who had no intention to hurt Ada with his laughter - she was being funny, just not intentionally. Elliot, being the smart man that he is backed off and let me talk Ada down from the ledge. I am still amazed at how hurt her little almost 4 year old heart can get. I was able to get Ada back to cuddling on the bed, but she was very adamant that she was still upset with Daddy - even though he had already apologized. The rest of the night was fairly standard, but this morning when Ada woke up she called for me instead of Elliot. We did some giggling and cuddling but when she saw Elliot she flipped back into her hurt mode.

Note to self - Ada can hold a grudge... a good long grudge.

Well I was having NONE of that. She was told that under no uncertain terms she needed to give Daddy a hug and forgive him - it wasn't OK to still be that upset. The hug started out reluctant at best but by the time it ended she had melted into Daddy's arms and had mutter the cutest "Daddy I forgive you" I've ever heard.

birds and the bees

I thought I had more time before this came up. No. Really. I did. But Ada's current BFF has a little sister and Ada is also a smart and curious little monkey. You combine the two and the inevitable occurred.

"Mommy. When I was a baby. Before I was born. How did I get in your belly?"

Now I'll preface this with the fact that when Ada asked about her belly button we went over the whole - "you were in my belly to grow and I needed a way to feed you" discussion. It took a few turns but she grasped that concept pretty quickly and and no further questions.

But not now.

No.

It was time for the talk.

I've long believed that I would do as my parents did and use the proper terminology and be straight forward with all talk about the body and reproduction. So when the question first hit about 5 minutes into our 30 minute commute home I started in on the truth. Leaving out some of the graphic details - she is only 3 for goodness sake.

So the story we aligned on was that there was an egg from mom, and a sperm from dad (yeah that was a fun explanation), and they were both very small so small you can't really see them. Well they got together and made an Ada and she grew in my belly until she was strong enough to get out.

That should have worked for a three year old with a short attention span. Right? Not so much. She spent the rest of the car ride (about 20 minutes) grilling me.

"So you picked me out?"

"Yes. Well, sort of, your egg was very aggressive, it pushed its way to the front"

"So then, daddy liked my egg?"

"Yes. Well, sort of, daddy's swimmer (that's what she called it) was fast and liked your egg."

And so on, and so on... I have never been so happy to see our driveway.

Well it sank in. Ada has now given the birds and the bees talk to several of our hockey friends, both Elliot and I, and I'm guessing all of her class and her teachers.

Well the other night, as she was talking it through with us she informed us that the egg and swimmers were really small, so small you couldn't pick them up with your hand. So I asked her if she knew how they came together.

I wish I hadn't. Only. It was so funny. So so funny. That as soon as it came out, I knew I had to write about it.

She said, well the swimmer goes into your mouth and down into your tummy to find the egg and you go like this. And she sat there with her mouth really really wide open for what was probably only a few seconds but felt like an eternity. And she was sure. No she was positive with a capital P that she was correct. I swear, that is not what we told her. I mean never. Never with a capital N, never.

I started to correct her. But she quickly grew bored of my insistence that she was wrong. So I finally asked her if she really (I mean REALLY REALLY) wanted to know how it all worked. Luckily for me she quipped 'No' and quickly jumped off to some other topic.

We will eventually correct her on the full story, but for now, according to Ada, we picked her out and that is the end of the story. As much as I think it would be great if this were true, truth be told, we just got lucky!

flair for the dramatic

Last night Elliot and I picked up Ada from school and headed to the playground for what we thought would be some pre-run fun for Ada. Turns out Elliot's hip is hurting him and I was tired so we decided to just head home and do some stretching and claim Wednesday as our day off.

This was great for Ada, she got to run around the playground with Daddy and she didn't have to endure 40 minutes in the jogging stroller. However, once we got home all heck broke loose. Ada had decided to rip off one of toenails on the drive home. I'm afraid a horrible nail clipping incident when she was about 6 months old has scarred her for life. However, when she ripped off the toenail she went too far and it got painful, very painful, screetching at the top of her lungs painful. Luckily we were close to home, and we went into turbo parent mode as soon as we hit the driveway. Clipped the nail, ice pack applied, funny faces made, and a quick read of 'Goodnight Gorilla' and we were back on easy street.

Or so we thought.

After amping up for this ordeal I started to feel a bit more awake and decided that I would do a quick run on the treadmill. Pretty simple task, right? Well I forgot about Ada's love of the 'tread-in-nill'. Ada likes to get on there (with adult supervision) and pretend like she is pushing the house up the hill. It is actually pretty cute and she has great endurance.

As I started my run, Ada came in and asked if she could run with me. I was pounding along at a pretty good pace so I said a quick 'not right now' and Elliot swooped in to distract Ada. Only Ada didn't want to be distracted, nope, in fact she had heard what I said, had been injured by my tone, and was distraught that the world that usually revolves around her was - for that moment in time - not. She stomped off to her room (across the hall) and started wailing - 'Nobody hates me'. She was indeed correct except she thought she was saying 'Everyone hates me, no one is listening to me, I'm all alone, and my parents just don't understand me!' And she repeated this for the next twenty four minutes. As I finished up my run and had the treadmill going at a more Ada like pace I asked if she wanted to join me. You would have thought I told her we were going to take all of her stuffed animals out to the backyard to behead them one by one. The dramatics. The flail. The tears that kept coming and coming. And there I was drenched in sweat from my run and therefore unable to do the one thing I want to do - give her a hug and tell her it would be OK.

Ada has informed me in the past that I am, under no circumstances, to touch her, any of her, when I am sweaty.

So I had to reason with her, and this is when I found out that she was one good Cure song away from a full blown teenage meltdown. And just as quickly as the mood hit, it was gone.

Turns out Ada had discovered my new hockey shoulder pads and was busy laughing at herself as she put on the over-sized equipment. This lasted until dinner and then once she had scarfed down pasta and fish the next phase of teenage meltdown kicked in.

Ada decided she wanted to put on her PJs. However, instead of just walking back to her room to change, or asking one of us to help out, she flipped back into the dramatics. This time she was so distraught that we couldn't figure out what was wrong. Lucky for me, this time I was completely dry and non-sweaty so I picked her up, sympathizing with what seemed to be a hormonal breakdown, and soon discovered that she just wanted her PJs. After applying another dose of funny faces and tickles we started racing back to her room, full of joy.

As I sprinted after her I thought - wow - if being almost four is this tough on her - how are we EVER going to survive when she actually hits her teenage years? And then she turned the corner, slipped on the wood floors, and BAM..

Some nights you just can't win...

Competitive Spirit

Ada loves to hit balls with sticks. Plastic softballs with whiffle bats, floor hockey balls with hockey sticks, foam red balls with toy light-sabres - all a good time. Whether she has any talent that would translate to an actual sport remains to be seen, but she definitely has enthusiasm.

To expand her arsenal of objects to swing, we recently picked up a few youth golf clubs. And no, we don't have any delusions of raising the next Tiger Woods - this was just for fun. Whenever we walk into a Sports Authority (which is fairly often in our family) Ada makes a beeline for the putter testing green, where she will spend as long as we let her trying every putter and whacking the balls around.

Recently we brought her new clubs out for a test spin, playing with them in a grassy field. After randomly whacking some balls around the field we developed a little game where Ada and I would each have a ball and a club and we race from one line to another, using our clubs to knock the ball over the finish line first. Ada thought it was a hoot.

Now, Ada loves to play games, but what she really loves is to win. After each race she would raise her club in triumph and declare "I beat you, Daddy. I won!" This is not something new. If we're out running Ada will insist on going ahead with Mommy so she can yell back "Daddy, you're too slow!" If we are going to get something from her room, she'll push past in the hallway and run ahead to declare victory. If she finishes her morning toast before I do, it will come with a jovial "I beat you, Daddy."

While it is a mystery to us how our daughter could have ended up with such an ardent competitive streak (surely it couldn't have been from her parents - we're not competitive at all...), we're pretty happy that she has the drive to win. What is tricky is teaching her how to not win.

After letting her win a few golf races, I decided to edge her out in a close race, popping my ball across the line just a few seconds before she did. Ada, upon finishing, immediately declared herself the winner and launched into a celebration. Katie, acting as ref, informed her that in fact Daddy had won. Ada did not take that well at all. Like a miniature John McEnroe (with less swearing) she argued adamantly that she had indeed won. When it became apparent that she was not going to change our minds, she stomped off and collapsed to the ground in her best I-can't-deal-with-this-unfair-cruel-world pose.

Several minutes later, after a long discussion about the impossibility of winning all of the time, the virtue of rising to meet the challenge again, and some conciliatory hugs, we packed up the golf clubs and headed home. Which lead to a race to the bathroom. Ada won.

dragon shield

One day about two months ago Ada started complaining that the dragons were going to eat her when we left her in her room after tucking her in at night. No explaining or pleading or reasoning was changing her mind - she was just flat out scared of the dragons. We managed to soothe her to sleep the first night this popped up, but I knew we were going to have to come up with something much more sturdy if we ever wanted Ada to put herself to sleep again.

We didn't want to squelch her imagination so we eliminated any solution that proved to her that dragons did not exist pretty early on. So, since we were stuck dealing with the dragons I came up with a few ideas and one GEM. Among the ideas were magic spells, and special routines she could follow - but not wanting to get her attached to some sort of OCD type behavior that would haunt her well into her teen years we finally landed on the GEM - the dragon shield!! It is nothing more than an extra bed sheet draped down from the top bunk of her bed. I have some how convinced her that this sheet is like a rubber shield that blocks all dragons. So even if the dragon manages to get in the house and past the strong fight that mommy and daddy are sure to put up - the dragon shield will bounce those suckers right out of her room.

Now if only we could create a cranky pants, random tantrum, and 'I'M HUNGRY' shields we would have absolute peace in our house.

reading

Ada has always loved books. We have read books at night on and off since she could hold her head up and feign interest in what we were reading. Recently however she has started to insist on 'reading' certain pages in each book. She doesn't actually know how to read - after all she still thinks Spiderman begins with an 'A' (all cool words start with A). But she comes extremely close - and I'm talking only off by an article here or there - to reciting a fair number of pages of each book from memory. The number of words and the quickness of her memorization - I'll say it - you can paint me proud.

It may seem odd but in a week where bright lights were few and far between - Ada learning and then reciting her favorite pages from 'A Porcupine named Fluffy' was like finding an extra present under the Christmas tree (one with a big pink and purple bow).