practice

I recently posted a status update to Facebook about how Ada had learned the practice of practice. I didn't think much of it, and neither did the Facebook world - it went relatively unnoticed (as do most of my status updates). But the update was true - we have started to teach Ada how to practice, especially when she isn't immediately good at something.

I thought this was all pretty normal, until this week when I happened upon a couple of articles which, among other things, touched on the topic of practice and pushing your kids. There is the Amy Chua camp that espouses that Chinese mother's do it better and then the Wendy Sachs camp that says working mom's don't have the time to do it the Chinese way and questions if that way is really better after all. I want to go on record that I firmly believe that each parent should parent how they want to parent and deserve the right to do that without being judged (except the ones that do drugs in front of their kids or use their kids to commit crimes - those ones I have a problem with).

After reading the point of view of both of these (very accomplished) women I started to reflect back on my practice time with Ada and with my practice time as a kid and I have a whole other theory, but first - some summary info for those who don't want to go out to read the articles.

The Chinese Mom camp is of the mind that to have smart, disciplined, accomplished children you need to spend hours upon hours drilling, quizzing, and berating your kids until they produce the results you want. I'd argue that this is just a different take on the theory that it takes 10,000 hours to perfect anything and that apparently the Chinese Moms just like to get in the express lane where they don't take breaks for childhood. To each their own.

The Working Mom camp basically says there aren't enough hours in the day (or quality time with your kids) to use those precious post work, pre-bedtime hours drilling, quizzing, and berating. To this the Chinese Mom would call the Working Mom - LAZY (but she would only be trying to help her reach her full potential).

I have a different idea. No one ever falls in love with something they don't innately enjoy all on their own. This is not to say that kids will only love the things they are naturally good at or that they should only be asked to take on tasks that they enjoy, but more to say that unless the practice is fun or at least remotely enjoyable, the end result will be an extremely talented kid (or adult) that wants desperately to do something else.

I have zero scientific evidence to back me up here, all I have is anecdotal evidence from my observations and experiences. But my goal in teaching Ada the practice of practice is to help her find ways to make her practice fun and challenging all at the same time. Will I make her do things that she doesn't want to do? Probably. But my promise to her as her mother and one half of her guide through the early part of her life is that I will try my best to find the art of practice that works best for her. I'll be there to challenge her to constantly work at her talents. But I will also allow for an occasional day off, and we will most definitely take breaks for childhood.

(Right now the Chinese Mom is calling me SOFT)