body image

Last night the family had some much needed cuddle time while we were watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' and one of the boys on the show was doing his solo contemporary piece. Ada loves to watch dancing and always has comments on the dancing, or the dancers, but mostly about the outfits. While watching this one particular solo she said "He isn't wearing a shirt". And then threw a sort of quizzical look our way to ask why the heck not?

Ada has always been pretty aware of her body, and like most kids likes to walk around naked, and has even taken to stripping out of her PJs after we put her to bed. So when she shot me this quizzical look I said - well he is a boy so he can dance without a shirt on and he has nice muscles that he likes to show off, sort of like how you like to get naked and show off your beautiful body.

Done and done. Right?

Sort of. Elliot had gone out to the living room to get something and Ada followed him out as she often does. But instead of just running after him, she walked out (she had just had a bath so was in her bathrobe) and as she got close to him opened up her robe and said 'Look at my beautiful body'.

I wasn't there but I'll take Elliot's word that it was just about the cutest and funniest thing she has said in a while and like any father unprepared for the fragility that is a young girls body image he busted up laughing. Laughing so hard that I heard him back in the bedroom. And then I heard Ada.

"This is not funny!"

"I am not funny!"

"My body is not funny!"

By the time I made it out to the living room she was trying to hide herself between the couch and the ottoman. Crying. I felt so bad. I know how she felt. I'm not sure I felt that way when I was almost 4, but I think just about any woman out there has felt that way at one time of another.

It took awhile, but I was able to coax her out of her hiding place and cuddle her, and get her to tell me what had hurt her so bad. And she was so genuine and so hurt. And now I was hurting for her, and for Elliot who had no intention to hurt Ada with his laughter - she was being funny, just not intentionally. Elliot, being the smart man that he is backed off and let me talk Ada down from the ledge. I am still amazed at how hurt her little almost 4 year old heart can get. I was able to get Ada back to cuddling on the bed, but she was very adamant that she was still upset with Daddy - even though he had already apologized. The rest of the night was fairly standard, but this morning when Ada woke up she called for me instead of Elliot. We did some giggling and cuddling but when she saw Elliot she flipped back into her hurt mode.

Note to self - Ada can hold a grudge... a good long grudge.

Well I was having NONE of that. She was told that under no uncertain terms she needed to give Daddy a hug and forgive him - it wasn't OK to still be that upset. The hug started out reluctant at best but by the time it ended she had melted into Daddy's arms and had mutter the cutest "Daddy I forgive you" I've ever heard.