sausage

Ada recently started a new chapter in her life. After spending every working day since she was 6 months old at her day care center, she finally graduated! We could have kept her at the center until Kindergarten starts in the fall, but we opted to enroll her in the ESS program at her future grade school. 


While ESS is associated with the school, for the summer it is mostly summer camp, which is a totally new and amazing experience for Ada. She gets to go on field trips twice a week, has occasional swimming days and of course also gets to hang out with new teachers and some older kids. And with new teachers comes new games. Ada shared one of these new games with us this morning in the car. 


Quick side note: We were in the car at 4:45 AM driving to the airport so Elliot and Ada could catch a flight to Saskatchewan... remember that as you read the following story... 


Ada: "I learned a new game at school. Sausage"


Me: "Really, I haven't heard of that one before. How do you play?"


"Someone sits in the middle and you ask them questions, and they just say 'Sausage' to everything. You have to make the person in the middle laugh."


"OK...."


"So let's play. I'm in the middle."


(we played, I had to trick Ada into laughing by pulling out one of my standard goofy voices)


Ada: "OK, now you are in middle"


"OK, hit me"


"What is your favorite color?" 


(in my best robotic voice) "sausage"


"Who is your favorite person?"


"sausage"


"What is your favorite sausage?"


(laughter)


Granted I was operating on maybe 4 hours of sleep, but she caught me enough off guard that I genuinely laughed. This led to more laughter, which then led to game after game after game of 'Sausage' until we hit the airport. 


Not surprisingly, a little bit later as they were killing time before their flight, when Elliot asked Ada if she wanted just an egg sandwich or one with egg and sausage, she replied without missing a beat...


Sausage!! 

dogs

Ada has been curious about animals (all animals) ever since she realized there were other species roaming this land with us humans.

Now the key word there is 'curious'. She isn't attracted so much that she seeks out animals and tries to pet them while they are eating. In fact she NEVER tries to pet them. Not even if we have assurances from pet owners that their dogs LOVE kids, not if said pets are leashed up, and not even if those pets like the look of Ada's cuddly face so much that they want nothing more than to lick her to pieces.

Well maybe it is that last part that has made Ada a little hesitant when it comes to animals.

On the good side of this situation we don't have to worry about Ada trying to pet a snake and getting bitten, or chasing after a rabid bunny rabbit.

This is a good thing.

However, her hesitance to approach any living (non human) creature is pretty funny to watch. At first I thought she was scared. Heck, I was terrified of dogs when I was her age.

But that's not it.

Then I thought, well maybe she just isn't used to animals and isn't sure how to approach them. So we taught her to let them sniff her hand first and then to  pet the back, and that some dogs like it when you get your fingernails in there and scratch. She followed our instructions and gave us a look of 'yeah, I get it, don't you remember - I'm the observant one'.

So that wasn't it either.

Then this weekend while we were hanging out at floor hockey a nice woman walked up with two SUPER friendly dogs. She even said, "These dogs LOVE kids, they are super friendly".

Ada wasn't much of a believer in those statements.

But she also wasn't scared, nor indifferent. She was curious. And it almost felt like she really wanted to pet the dogs, but there was something holding her back.

So I prodded.

"Ada, honey, why don't you want to pet the dogs? They are friendly, they won't hurt you..."

No movement.

Then a look of wanting.

Then a statement. "If you hold their heads so that they can't lick me I'll pet them."

And there you have it. Ada isn't afraid of dogs (or other animals), she just really really really doesn't like getting licked head to toe just so she can give a belly rub. 

flying

The family recently took a trip to Maui. Partly to celebrate my birthday, partly to celebrate the end of my semester, but mostly to get away and attempt to relax and work on our tans. 

We were definitely successful in that last part.

Ada spent most of her days on Maui lapping up the luxury of one of the three pools at the hotel we were staying at. Elliot joined Ada for most of that time and I worked in some pool time, some laying out/reading time, and some walking time. 

It was great. 

But we were in Hawaii. Pool time we can do in San Diego, so we decided to get away from the hotel on a couple of occasions. On our last day we drove up one of the local volcanoes and hiked around on the trails. It was pretty awesome and Ada showed us just how grown up she is getting by knocking out the hikes with the speed and skill of parents (just with more stops to get the rocks out of her shoes). 

The volcano was cool. Really really cool.. but it isn't the adventure Ada asked me to write about. Nope. That event was the day before when we woke up early to catch the early departure for pairasailing!! 

When we showed Ada the pamphlet for parasailing she got very excited. She likes parachutes, and she likes boats, so the combo was heaven in her eyes. Still we were a little skeptical that she would actually have the guts to go once we got on the boat so we just bought her a ticket to ride on the boat knowing we could upgrade on board if she wanted to go up. 

The boat ride in itself was pretty cool. But when she saw Elliot go up in the parachute she could not contain her glee!! Ada had to be next! So we booked the upgrade, and Ada and I got suited up in our fancy straps/braces - Ada's was even PINK - and then shortly after Elliot landed, Ada and I were strapped in, sat down and then we were OFF!!! 

We took off so quick we didn't have time to even think about what was happening, evidenced by Ada's exclamation (full of pride) that "Mom! I didn't even have to close my eyes!!" 


So for the next 10-15 minutes Ada and I sailed high above the coast of Maui, taking in the beauty, talking about how grown up Ada was getting, and discussing what the heck we would do if the cord attaching the parachute to the boat was to break. (I assured her that I had a little experience sky diving and could probably do well enough to land us without too much damage). This was by far one of the cooler things I've done with Ada, and not just because we were doing something so cool as parasailing. Nope. It was because in that small moment of time we were totally alone. No work to distract, no toys to interfere, nothing. Just the two of us up there wondering about whatever came to mind and just sharing in our mutual respect for each other for being cool enough to try something like that. And then, at the end of the ride, they lowered our parachute down and dipped our toes in the water. Ada's squeal of joy and excitement summed up our ride. 

AWESOMENESS!! 

apple

There are often moments in our daily routine where it is pretty darn evident that Ada is definitely absorbing some of the environment in which she is being raised.

I have recently started doing an 8 week fitness program called INSANITY with a co-worker, and most of the days we workout at lunch but when that doesn't happen and on weekends I'm left to do the workout by myself. I'm OK with this, I'm a motivated individual, but it does make it easier when you have someone working out with you. Ada obviously picked up on this and for Mother's Day instead of flowers or chocolates, Ada gave me the gift of working out with me. It was cute, she did most of the exercises and kept me laughing the whole time. Since then Ada has been asking me every morning if she can do my workout with me.

Well this morning was one of the days where I was left on my own to do the workout. I somehow convinced Elliot to do the workout with me (he was very skeptical about doing something that implied that you might be a little bit insane to even contemplate completing - and I'm pretty sure he isn't going to sign up for the whole program anytime soon), and once Ada caught wind that there was going to be a workout in the house this morning she asked if she could be part of it. We told her she'd have to get up early if she wanted to participate and boy oh boy did she take that seriously.

As Elliot and I were grumbling about getting out of bed we heard the familiar 'pad pad pad' down the hallway. Our little munchkin was up and ready to go. She came into our room with a GIANT smile on her face and said without hesitation, "Come on, lets go workout".

Clearly, Ada is one apple that did not fall too far from the tree. 

promotion

Ada got her first promotion last night.

No she doesn't have a job, we aren't into child labor.. yet. No, Ada got her first promotion in gymnastics and she we could not be more proud.

I'm such a good mom that I didn't even realize what was happening when her teacher, Miss Kay, came over to give Ada her ribbon and qualification sheet indicating that Ada had crushed the 'Cricket' assessment and had moved on to the 'Super Crickets'.

Once I realized what was happening Miss Kay explained that it was really clear that Ada had been practicing (yay inner Tiger Mom) and that she was doing a much better job at focusing and listening during class.

Ada was pretty oblivious as to what was happening while we were at the gym but once we got home and I explained it to her she kept asking me over and over again what Miss Kay had said, and was particularly impressed that she got complimented for 'being a good listener'.

And then in a twist that even I didn't see coming Ada asked me to 'write a book about her getting her ribbon'. Which translated into - write a blog post about this and then she proceeded to dictate what I should write. So here you go, from Ada's mouth to your eyes:

"Ada did a very good job at Gyminny Kids, (make sure you tell them it was Gyminny Kids so they know it was gymnastics). I got a ribbon and Miss Kay said that I did a VERY good job. And that I practice a lot. And that I am a very good listener, and Kayla needs to pay attention more." 

For the record I told Ada that it wasn't very nice to say that about Kayla and it is pretty safe to say we still have some work to do in the modesty department, but I am glad that she gets to understand how good it feels to work hard for something and to get recognized for that hard work. 

ordering like a grown up

First off - apologizes for not posting recently - we went to Boston for the marathon where Elliot and Tia Jackie kicked butt but it also threw me out of writing whack. 


Now on to our regularly scheduled program...


About a week ago we went out to dinner at a restaurant in our new neighborhood. We've been to this establishment before and Ada has a standard order. When the waiter came to take our order, I did what I normally do - I ordered my meal and then Ada's meal. All pretty standard. The food came, we ate, and Ada earned her ice cream (our secret to good restaurant behavior). 


When the waiter came by to ask if we wanted anything else Elliot started to order the ice cream and when the waiter asked what type of ice cream we wanted Ada took over. She spoke clearly and politely and ordered herself some vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. It was very cute, and very grown up. 


But the best part was right after the waiter walked away - she turned to the table with the BIGGEST smile on her face and said with uncontrollable glee "I ordered my ice cream all by myself!!!!" 


And so begins a whole new type of firsts in our family. 

awareness

I've often been asked - how long will you write Adabeta? Basically, when do you stop broadcasting all of Ada's most embarrassing moments across the world wide web?

To be honest I have always had two alternatives in my head. 

1) When she figures out what I'm doing and politely asks me to stop, or yells that she hates me, stomps off to her room and slams her door with authority. I call this the 'When Ada asks me to' option.  

OR

2) When she gets old enough to know you only post funny non-incriminating stories on the web, I'd hand the blog over to her to continue on in her own voice. I call this the 'Only in my dreams' option. 

Well a couple of days ago Ada was sitting on my lap and I had this blog up on my browser and she asked me what I was reading. When I told her it was stories about her that Daddy and I had written she got VERY curious. And she asked for me to read her a story, and then another one, and then another one. 

For the record she was partial to the Natalie Sunshine post from a few days ago. If I had to guess, I'd say that isn't the last of good old Natalie.. 

I thought it was just a one time curiosity but then last night as we were hanging out before I ran off to class she asked me to read her a story, a story from my computer. And so we did, we read about Ada growing up. 

This has been so much fun for me. I will be honest - I usually throw my posts up, read them through once or twice to make sure it looks OK and then forget about it. But this week we have gone all the way back to the beginning and it has been so amazing to remember where my mind was 2 and 3 years ago, and even more amazing to remember what Ada was like, you know, back when she was 3! 

Bonus Points to anyone who got that last reference... you are truly a dedicated reader.

natalie sunshine

The other occupation that Ada seems to be drawn to is ROCKSTAR. 

One of her friends, probably one with an older sibling, taught Ada about Hanna Montana. And that little miss Montana was indeed a ROCKSTAR and therefore someone to be emulated. 

God help us now. 

Anyway, Ada has always been a little bit performance driven. She likes to move her body to music and thanks to a long standing family tradition, she also likes to make up her own songs. I didn't say we had a long standing tradition of making up GOOD songs, just songs. So we'll often find Ada singing through entire hours of her day. You combine the performance, and the inhibition towards song writing and BAM you get a little mini ROCKSTAR in training. 

Right around the time the whole Miley Cyrus (aka Hanna Montana) pot smoking story broke Ada seemed to amp up her desire to play ROCKSTAR, and in particular to be the one, the only, Hanna Montana. 

I'll admit it. 

I couldn't handle the image of my little angel pretending to be this person who was doing things that some would argue are way to adult for the real Hanna Montana to be doing, let alone a little 4 year old. I also didn't want to let Ada get away with just imitating art, especially not when she is so good at creating it... 

So we struck a deal.. 

Ada could play ROCKSTAR if she came up with her own moniker. After much deliberation and a few denied offerings from mommy, she came up with Natalie Sunshine. And so a star, or really a ROCKSTAR, was born. 

Behold... NATALIE SUUUUNNNNSHINE!!!!

 

career choices

It is decided.

Ada has decided what she wants to be when she grows up...

An Astronaut.

When Elliot first heard this he informed her that this meant lots and lots of school. First grade school, then high school, then university, then 'astronaut school'... And Ada has signed up for all of that.. she is dedicated. At least for this week.

There are a couple of factors at play here.

1. One of my co-workers who doubles as an airline pilot saw a barbie like doll dressed up like an Astronaut in an airport gift shop, roll-y bag and all, and bought it for Ada. Hey if a barbie doll can do it - so can Ada.

2. Ada's Papa bought Ada one of the coolest space books on the planet (he he). Ada spends hours and hours looking at the pictures in this book and requesting anyone around her to read it to her.

3. One of Elliot and Ada's favorite games to play is "Solar System" - where Elliot holds up a ball and pretends to be the sun and Ada holds a ball and runs around him pretending to be one of a variety of planets, her distance from Elliot determining which planet she is.

4. And finally - Ada's class spends at least a week a year talking about space. Looking at books, talking about the planets, and basically geeking out space style.

And there you have it. Ada wants to be an astronaut so she can take care of Space.  

a serious turn

Ada likes to get up as early as possible on weekends. 

And who doesn't really? Oh wait, mom and dad, that's who...

I digress...

Due to her early Saturday mornings, Ada has started to participate in a Saturday morning tradition older than time - Saturday morning cartoons. Only now that we have DVRs Ada doesn't get to watch whatever horrible cartoon happens to be on TV, she gets to watch whatever educational cartoon mom and dad have recorded.

So now each Saturday, the second a drop of sunlight hits her precious eye lids they fly open, she pads her way down the hallway to our room, and then one of us sleep walks down stairs to put on Word World, Dinosaur Train, or Dora and then sleep walks back up stairs to catch a few more zzzz's.

This weekend however, Elliot actually got up too because he had to get in a 21 mile training run before the heat set in. Luckily, they both let me snooze away and when I got up for good a little while later I decided to join Ada for some breakfast and cartoon watching. This week's choice was Word World and the episode was about Duck trying to perform on stage in front of all the other word animals but getting stage freight over and over again. But he kept trying, and trying, and trying until he finally managed to get out all the right words to 'Twinkle twinkle little star'.

At this point, I was getting ready to get up to really start my day when Ada turned to me with the most sincere serious voice I've ever heard come out of her little body and said "Mommy, it is very important that we never NEVER ever give up! We have to keep trying and trying and trying."

I'm pretty sure that Duck's trials and tribulations were not the first time Ada was exposed to this lesson, but I thought it was cute that she thought I might not have heard that one before and wanted to take this time to focus on this teachable moment.

Good thing, I'm not sure I would have figured that one out on my own... :) 

growing up

I know it was bound to happen. 


Ada getting older. 


Wiser. 


More mature. 


And I know she has a long long way to go, but every so often I have these moments where I realize, really really realize, that she is blossoming into an amazing little girl - no longer a toddler and most certainly not a baby. 


And I LOVE it. 


Don't get me wrong - I loved Ada as a baby, and as a toddler. Even when she was puking all over me and throwing her biggest tantrum of all time - probably more so in those moments. 


But I love watching her watch the world, try it on for size, make judgments for herself about what she likes and what she doesn't. It is fascinating and wonderful all at the same time. 


This morning Ada's favorite cartoon (Dinosaur Train) was wrapping up and everyone's favorite paleontologist was encouraging the kids to 'get outside and explore' I asked Ada if she was going to do some exploring today. 


'No'


'Why not?'


'I don't want to be a a paleontologist' (hello - that's a big word for a 4 year old)


'Why not?'


'There aren't any dinosaur's anymore'


'Well you could study old dinosaur fossils and bones' 


'Yeah, I don't want to do that' 


And there you have it - Ada's first career development conversation. I'm not sure she knows what she wants to do when she grows up, but she is definitely forming ideas as she navigates through life. 

leave button

Elliot and Ada have a variety of games that they play, each game fits into a theme. There is a tag theme, a hide and seek theme, a story theme, a doll theme, and a button theme. The button theme is one of the more creative variations of games they play - basically one of them will call out "X" button while pushing an imaginary button and then the other person has to adapt the game to whatever button was called out. This is usually used when they are pretending to be fighting aliens and they need a quick escape.

Well tonight I came home before heading to class and ruined Ada's plans to force Elliot into hour upon hours of GAMES. She was momentarily excited that she got to see me, but then she wanted me gone. I was able to joke around with her a little bit, I tricked her into a game of tag (yeah - I made HER play tag - how do you like them apples Elliot), I told her that she had to catch me to get me to go... even with my bum leg I should be faster than a 4 year old running around in tights on hard wood floors.

What I didn't account for was Ada's desire to get me out of the house. As I made the second trip into our home gym area about to head around the stationary bike Ada LAUNCHED herself at me in an attempt to lay me out in an open field tackle. (note to self, Ada might have watched TOO much NFL this past season). Lucky for me I'm wily and was able to elude her tackle, unlucky for Ada this meant she landed face first on the hard wood floor. Realizing what had just happened I picked up Ada and started giving her healing kisses to which Ada replied 'Kiss button'!!

This went on for a few seconds and then Ada started trying once again to convince me to leave a little early for class. When her best appeals fell on deaf ears she went into game mode, stuck out her little pointer finger and said 'Leave Button!!'

Ouch.

That was harsh.

But pretty darn clear. Ada loves her Daddy and really really enjoys their play time together. I am glad that Ada does not hold my class nights against me but I think we need to teach her a little bit of tact.

:)

looking out for the future

March 8th was International Women's Day. I'd never heard of it before the actual day and as an alumni of an elite women's college I was a little surprised about my ignorance. But boy was I inundated with notes and info about the day, it is apparently a big big deal overseas and I credit Facebook with my new awareness since most of the info I got was through my Facebook feed. I'm apparently friends with a lot of people who fight for women's rights and equality. Given that whole women's college thing not a huge surprise.

Well as a result of this new 'holiday' there have been a few articles about how women are doing in various industries, and I recently read this article talking about how women are stacking up in the business world.

**Warning, here is where I veer off of the 'how cute is Ada' track and jump on my soap box, I won't blame you if you stop reading now...**

A lot of the material was a repeat of stuff I've read over and over again. The focus of the article was around how women in the business world require flexibility to perform. I agree with this to some extent but I would argue that the flexibility can exist in your family life if it can't exist in the business world. Don't get me wrong, I think a flex schedule at work can work, but I've also seen it go horribly wrong at no fault of the woman wanting the flex schedule.

As I read the article I started to think about Ada and what a different world she knows from the one I knew, and WOW how totally different is her world from my mother's or my grandmother's. It also drove home that while my mother and grandmother's generations laid down the ground work for the opportunities I have in front of me, the work is not done. I think the challenges for my generation are not so much equality of opportunity or pay (although there is a bit of that left over) but it is about creating a new understanding of what a working woman/mother looks like in the business world. For so long it seems women have been trying to be like men. Makes sense, it was a familiar comparison point and the closer we could get to men the better we could be understood and evaluated. But here is the thing, we aren't men. We look at the business world differently, we interpret information differently, not better or worse, just different. I believe this difference is an important part of business today. It adds a dimension and an understanding to strategy that is very powerful. But it is only powerful if we respect it, don't try to shove it down and don't try to deny that it is there.

So that is my challenge to my generation of working women/moms - be proud of who you are and what you bring to the table, fight for balance in your life whether it is flexibility in the office or flexibility at home (or both), and visibly show how proud you are of both the work you do and the time you dedicate to your family.

I know I don't do all of these things all of the time. It is sometimes so much less stressful to take the easy route and ensure your boss that work comes first, or promise your partner that you are going to carve out time to focus on family. But the catch is, you can't be true to either of those promises unless you are 100% honest to all partners in your life. If you promise your boss that your work comes first you better have passed that by your spouse/partner otherwise you will feel stressed and guilty and will do a worse job because of it, and same with the promise to your family.

I never took women's issues so strongly when I was single, it is much easier to paint yourself in the image of the familiar masculine business person when you only have yourself to report to. But now, now that I have a little girl looking up to me and imitating everything I do, and a man that I have committed to sharing all of life's joys and burdens with I feel a lot more compelled to speak up. So in honor of International Women's Day (about a week late) - I'm jumping up on my soap box and calling out my generation.

Let's do this!

...all 6 of us reading this blog :)

exercise

As Elliot posted about a month ago, Ada has been forcing him to play tag most nights after she gets home from school. I've been spared this request because 1) I'm not there all the time, and 2) I'm hurt and as Ada says 'You can't run because you are hurt'.

Well last night was the first night of daylight savings time and in celebration Elliot took Ada to a park near our house. They took her big girl bike (without training wheels) and Ada sort of rode there and back, and she ran around the park a bit and played with some neighborhood kids when she got back home. All in all a nice evening in the lingering sunshine.

Elliot figured it was a nice break from the normal immediate onslaught of tag, but just a break, not a reprieve.

Ada saw it differently. It was in this moment that Ada's motivation for the game of tag came to light.

As they entered the house Ada declared 'I don't need to play tag tonight because I've already exercised!'

Wow.

Yes.

That's right, our little baby has already drilled into her mind that she should exercise every night. I know that my drive for exercise comes from a very similar place. I learned to love the feeling of working out at a young age (although not as young as Ada), and it is the memory of this feeling that drives me to stay in shape and get back into shape when I've lagged for a bit (or been pregnant or injured). I can't tell you how amazed (and happy) I am that Ada has made this connection to exercise.

I'm sure there is a percentage of you that think I'm crazy for being so happy that Ada already has this affinity for exercise, but in a society dominated by childhood obesity and other unhealthy habits, I'm pretty darn happy that simply through example Ada already has a grasp on living healthy.

Now, if I could get her to stop asking for Mac-n-Cheese every night I might be on to something.

stats

I recently discovered that I can see stats about the number of people viewing this blog and very general information about where they are viewing from (basically what country they hail from). And boy oh boy - what a surprise! I had always assumed that most of my readers are family and friends and, yes, most are from the good old USA and Canada.

Not so expected - we also have readers from Japan, China, Brazil (or as Ada says, 'Baby Canada'), the UK, and a variety of other European countries with a few views from India and Iran thrown in to boot!

For those of you out there from other locales - welcome! I would have said it earlier if I'd known you were there.

And for my family and friends that read consistently - thanks for your years (!) of loyalty and patience - even through my bouts of writer's block and absence when life just gets too busy.

Feel free to sound off in the comments - I do read them and they help motivate me to write more frequently.

enforcer

One of the features of our new house is that Ada can hear the garage door opening from her bedroom. This means she knows exactly when I come home from class. I have also convinced her that she better be in bed when I get home or ?? Who really knows.

A few weeks ago I knew Elliot was having a long week and Ada had been testing her boundaries with him a bit while I was at class. That morning I told Ada she better behave for her daddy that night because he was tired (something she would understand) and that she better be in bed before I got home. That one little heart to heart was apparently written in blood and sealed with a kiss because it is now the LAW in our house.

Fast forward to a few nights ago. Elliot is doing his best to get our little lolligager to put her clothes in the laundry room and head up to bed. Ada was pulling her - "I'm to scared to walk down the hall routine" and had already gone a few rounds with Elliot when the grumble of the garage door started to rumble the back side of our house.

As fast as she could Ada sprinted to the laundry room, violently threw her clothes in the existing pile, turned on a dime and shot herself into her room and up her ladder into her bed. Record time, no fussing, and no additional cajoling from Elliot was needed.

By the time I had gathered my bags from the car and headed into the house, Elliot was down in the kitchen waiting for me and Ada was cuddled up in her bed pretending to sleep.

Elliot is now going to start carrying a spare garage door opener in his pocket for 'special' occasions.

shopaholic

I'm a busy busy mom. I work full time. I go to school. I try to exercise when I can. And on top of it all, deep down I am a woman. I like shopping. I don't really like the trying on of stuff, but I do enjoy a nice session of window shopping. Since I don't really have any leisure time to wander around malls or through shopping districts I have turned to the web to do my window shopping. Let's face it, the web is sort of a mecca for window shoppers. If only someone could invent a way to feel texture through the web and provide the essence of relaxing, the experience would be just about perfect.

This little habit is pretty safe when shopping for stuff for me. See, women's clothing, shoes, jewelry, and accessories are pretty expensive, or at least they are usually priced over my strike price.

Enter a discount site for designer labels, a unique collection of little girl dresses priced like little girl dresses should be, and mini-fashionista at home that wears nothing but dresses and I'll admit it - I've occasionally crossed that line into purchasing. Now, I'm smart, I know Ada's preferences in dresses, I buy dresses two sizes too big so she can wear them as ankle length dresses, mid calf dresses, and cute - just above the knee dresses. And when all is said and done, we get a good 2 years out of these articles of clothing. But apparently Ada has had enough. For now.

She informed me this weekend that I was, under no circumstances, to order her any more dresses. (To the 16 year old version of Ada who is just dying because I won't buy her that $200 dress for prom and is reading this on my directive - I told you so!)

I'm still not 100% convinced she doesn't want any more dresses. I'm thinking she decided that this might be a good way to break her disdain for my fashion sense to me gently.

weekend snuggles

I've talked a bit about how weekends are full of special Ada/Mommy time. We hang out together, do our homework together, go to the park, etc..

This weekend was rainy in San Diego. And cold. (stop laughing) So we spent a lot of time inside doing inside things.

One of the many things we did was subject Ada to the latest SDSU basketball game. This is quite a season for SDSU and since Elliot graduated from there and I'm currently attending we felt a little pull to watch. So we recorded the game (Ada had skating class during the live broadcast), and Ada, bless her heart, spent the whole game cheering for BYU - she apparently likes winners.

After the game, we had all sorts of intentions of productivity. Instead we took a nap. A three hour nap. All of us. Elliot on the recliner, Ada and I on the couch.

Yes. You read that correctly. Our anti-snuggle munch-kin who will normally put up with a maximum of 3 - 4 minutes of close snuggling before physically removing herself from the situation. Watched me fall asleep, found a comfy position, and snuggled in for the duration. I woke up to her arms and legs draped warmly over me, like I was one giant stuffed animal.

I'm not sure why Ada overlooked her long standing cuddling policy but I for one was grateful. Even if it meant I had warm goldfish breath in my face until she woke up.

beautiful day

The weather around here has been uncharacteristically cold lately, you know, sort of like a normal winter around the rest of the country. We had rain yesterday, not just rain, but HARD rain. And not just rain but small bits of hail here and there, and even reports of SNOW in the outer reaches of the county. Ada is very fascinated by this new weather. She likes to talk about. A LOT.

In fact, she has been telling us that the rain and the cold are here because it is winter, and that our normal weather is what she likes to call Summer Winter. (Really, she said those exact words.)

Makes sense.

The rain lasted a whole day and now we are back to beautiful sunshine, only it is still cold outside. Deciding that we were brave enough to face some chilly air we decided to walk to breakfast this morning. Ada usually ebbs and flows from walking behind us to sprinting past us in exhilaration. At one point as Ada was exploring the nature behind us, Ada very matter of factly stated:

"Today is a beautiful day. Except. It is really cold."

We are definitely raising a little Southern California girl.

the darkedness

We are trying to get Ada to show a little more confidence and courage - doing more things on her own - little things like going to the bathroom or walking down the hallway on her own to get her PJs. Sometimes she is great and then sometimes she digs in her heels and acts like we are asking her to take her favorite stuffed animal out back to de-fluff it and then ride her bike over it again and again. You know - the most unreasonable request in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

The other night was one of those nights where we were (apparently) asking for her to do something SO horrible that she just. might. die. In other words, we asked her to go from our bedroom down the hall to her bedroom to get her PJs.

Ada dramatically threw herself on the floor and started to loudly pout. How could we ask her to go to her room ALL BY HERSELF. Don't we know, that is just not possible.

Why? Well....

"I don't know"

"Is there something in your room that makes you want to not go in there"

"Yes"

"What?"

"I don't know"

"OK, I can't help you unless I know what is bothering you. I don't know is not an answer, if you say 'I don't know' one more time you are going to bed right now"

What followed was the most brilliant display of self control and will power I have ever witnessed, especially from someone as young as Ada

"Well, I can't go to my room"

"Why not?"

"Well... well.. it is scary"

"What is scary"

(repeat 5 times - not once throwing in an 'I don't know') and then..

(on the verge of fake tears) "The.. um.. the.. well.. the.. the... the DARKEDNESS"

"You are scared of the dark"

"NO, not the dark, the DARKEDNESS" (the look on her face was the most dramatic look she could muster)

(holding back every urge to break out in hysterical giggles)

"OK honey (big hugs), we will help you tonight. After all the darkedness is pretty scary."

The battle of wills continues in our house, but I was pretty happy to see her little brain working.

Tag

I'm pretty sure Ada is nuclear-powered. There is no way someone can have that much energy just by metabolizing food.

For a six-week stretch this semester, Katie has class three nights a week, so Ada and I are getting a lot of quality father-daughter time in. For Ada, quality time translates into testing daddy's endurance until he breaks.

Ada is usually pretty fired up when I pick her up from pre-school - she's been busy playing with her other nuclear-powered friends and they've kept each other amped up all day. I am usually not so fired-up. I'm only coffee-powered and that just can't compete. On the way out to the car she will invariably ask a) what do we have to eat? and b) what we are going to be doing tonight? The second question is actually rhetorical - whether I like it or not, the answer is tag.

Ada will start pestering me to start the game of tag as soon as she is released from the confines of her car seat, and as soon as my computer bag hits the kitchen floor she commences the game with "come chase me!"

Our new house has many features that Ada enjoys - her own bathroom, lots of light switches, stairs... - but enough room to pick up speed is clearly at the top of the list. Ada's tag route heads into the living room where she winds around the coffee table and recliner before veering back into the kitchen where multiple laps around the island keep dad at bay until I stop and allow her to run around into me. After I tag her (only in the middle of her back, because she makes the rules and the point of having rules is to fix things so that Ada wins), it is my turn to run away. I'm too big to squeeze by the recliner so my only way out of the livingroom is to wait for Ada to run at me and then try to dance around her, as Ada would say, "like kung-fu panda." This is, of course, exhausting, and soon enough Ada snags me with a fingertip or the paw of a stuffed animal (see: rules), it's back to chasing her around the island.

Eventually I insist on needing a break from tag. This prompts Ada to move on to the next event, which is racing from the front door to the door at the back of the house heading into the garage. Lined up in a starter's stance, each with a hand on the door, Ada gives a "Ready - Go!" and we're off - swerving a bit to avoid the recliner, then tearing through the kitchen with arms stretched out to touch the door first. Ada, being a natural at competitive positioning, is quick to cut me off, so the races usually come down to me trying to reach around her without running her over. Usually she wins. Sometimes I sneak in a victory. Always she turns right around and assumes the starting position.

If I seem to be wavering in my enthusiasm for racing, Ada introduces a variation.

"This time we'll hop!" (which she does, with a couple quick steps to ensure her victory)

"You run and I'll hold on to your shirt!" (perfectly logical to a 4 year old...)

"Let's crawl!" (this one kills me - did I mention our floors are wood?)

Thoroughly beaten and exhausted I insist we stop to eat some dinner. Not that her little reactor core has any use for pasta or chicken, but its nice to pretend.

fashion critic

It is no secret that Ada has distinct opinions about what she wants to wear. She has been picking out her outfits since she was about 2, or whenever she discovered that she was able to take her clothes off if she didn't like them.

We recently discovered that she also has strong opinions about what Elliot and I wear, she has just been keeping them to herself.

Until now.

Most mornings I get dressed for work and at some point in the course of the morning routine either I'll ask Elliot about what he thinks of my outfit for that day or he'll say something like 'You look nice today'.

Awww what a sweet guy.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago, I get dressed in pretty standard office fare, and get Elliot's two thumbs up on my choice. As I start on the next part of my morning routine I hear a little (but confident) voice.

"I don't always like your outfits"

"But do you like my outfit today?"

"Yes, but sometimes, I do NOT like what you wear."

Okay.... point taken

This morning I am wearing a skirt, so I figured Ada would be a fan. So after Elliot complimented my choice in clothing I turned to Ada and asked what she thought.

"Hmmm... I like it... but... (pause, pause, pause) I think I want to add some green!"

She then went into my closet and started looking for a green jacket to add to the ensemble.

Project Runway here we come!

klutz

Ada has had a rough week.

First she fell and bonked her head at school. She is fine, but since it was her head that was bonked it deserved a call to mommy at work - she is fine, but has a nice little red mark on her forehead.

Later that same day she fell and scrapped her lip. She was fine, but again required a call to daddy at work to inform.

The next day we got an 'ouch' report from school that Ada had fallen off the play equipment and bonked her nose - bloody nose. Again OK, and no call this time, and apparently she didn't even cry. But still another owie.

To make matters worse she has a scab underneath her nose, because she's had a runny nose for a few days and since she has developed a technique of rubbing her nose instead of blowing it she rubbed her skin right off.

I asked Ada last night why she kept falling down this week - thinking she was tired, or growing, or some other chemical reason, but NO. Her response, "I was trying to keep up with my friends and I forgot to look down when I got off of the slide".

So no higher reason, she's just a klutz. That, and she was just too busy to notice she was a couple feet off the ground before trying to run away.

first contact

Ada has been showing some very strong indications that she wants to play soccer next year.

**Note - she actually wants to play now but Elliot and I have a belief that no kid under the age of 5 should play organized sports so next year it is. **

In an effort to show us how much she wants to play, Ada has started to dribble my soccer ball around the house, practices kicking the ball against wall, and finds mini goals all over the house to 'score' goals in.

Given these flashing indicators, Ada and I ventured off to the park today where I snuck in some illegal SLOW jogging, and Ada dusted off her cleats and had a little soccer practice. She mostly just ran around dribbling her ball (she is getting pretty good at this). We did set up some mini-goals using some of my old cones and she started to understand that the ball goes through the cones (not on top of them) to score.

Once she tired of running around we did a few headers, and then lined up for some partner work (the former coach in me started to seep out a little bit). And it was in the middle of this partner work that we had a major break through. I was tossing the ball at Ada, while simultaneously counting down 1, 2, 3 go for Ada to strike her leg out in an attempt to get the perfect storm of a good throw and solid footwork from Ada. She made contact most of the time, sometimes off her knee, sometimes on a floppy foot, but contact none-the-less. Then she did it. She hit the ball with solid contact and you could hear the pop and see the ball come shooting back at me with more power than she had ever mustered.

The feeling behind a solid touch is amazing. And in one instant I realized what she had done and she realized that different feeling and the look on her face was priceless. It was amazing watching that one moment of discovery. One that I have seen so many times over the years in my players, it was about a million times cooler seeing it in my own Ada. That tiny moment of success was enough to fuel her to keep trying again and again.

And again. I have a feeling that summer is not going to come soon enough for one little superstar.

the curse of the working mom

I'm going to go there again. Back to the media, which seems pretty fond of bashing moms of all sorts lately. Today's genius article is about how just by working I am dooming Ada to a life of childhood obesity. There have been studies, apparently, that show that kids of working moms are fatter. The article goes on to speculate why - less time to make healthy meals, more TV time for the kids, less family meals, etc... All valid reasons.

I guess.

What the article doesn't mention much about is where the fathers come in to play in all of this. I get that a lot of families have an unbalanced setup as far as the parenting responsibilities go, and that a lot of the traditional raising of the children and feeding of the families still falls on moms, working or not. I see it with my friends, I read about it in articles, so I know it is out there, but my reality is so far from that scenario that it makes reading all of these articles hard on my eyeballs.

I know this blog is usually about Ada - but today I'm going to talk about Elliot (and me to some extent but mostly Elliot), because he is enlightened enough to have stepped up to take more than his traditional portion of parenting. And he did it without even being asked.

You see, I don't think I'm going to make Ada fat, because while I'm not there to cook her dinner every night, Elliot is smart and capable enough to cook her a healthy dinner (and usually something healthy for the two of us to eat when I get home from school). At night - whoever is home with Ada gets to play games and read books. A lot of times this is me for a bit and then Elliot for a bit - and on class nights an even bigger bit for Elliot. And each morning we have a routine that has me getting Ada dressed and Elliot putting together her lunch - one that we are teased about at each parent teacher conference because it is always healthy and some times mature (Ada does like her olives and kidney beans). And then there are the rocket-ship rides that Ada goes on so Elliot can do his marathon training while I'm in school. Rides that we thought Ada dreaded but turns out she loves. Oh and the games of tag and the races through the house that go on each night. Yes, there is some TV and Ada loves movies, but it is balanced, and earned, and most of the time educational.

Elliot has given me the gift to not just be a working mom, but to be one that goes to night school as well. I can do that without guilt BECAUSE Elliot is such a good dad and partner. And that in turn makes me a better mother and wife.

I wonder if the focus in all of these articles is not in the wrong place. Instead of constantly showing how women in the workplace is hurting the children, shouldn't they focus on how balance doesn't stop at bringing home a paycheck, or the typical gender balance of household chores. It should laud the men who have realized that having a working wife means that they now have a chance to step into more of a co-leader role in the parenting world. It is an opportunity to be more involved in their kid's life. I guess it wouldn't get such a viral reaction, but really, isn't that a good thing?

OK - I'm stepping off my soap box now. Next post will be all about Ada and how fat she is getting :)

quality time

I've been doing the night school act about as long as Ada can remember, and this semester, I'm even more over loaded as I'm auditing a class by Elliot's boss on Entrepreneurship, making my nights in class = 3. Ada is very aware of my nights away, and always has been. On one hand she gets to spend some super quality time with Elliot. They have a bond that is the type of bond you hope that your daughter and her father will have, one that will make them best friends for the rest of their lives. Ada also knows that my nights in class mean that there is less 'Mommy Time' available. Up to this point that has been OK by her (see the previous point about the extra 'Daddy Time') but this semester she has started to be more pro-active in finding those chunks of time and to that end we are starting to form some new quality time traditions in our house.

Ada - ever the stay in bed until mom and dad come pry open her eye lids to let in the light of the new day - has started to get up early, trot down the hallway to the master bedroom to come crawl into bed for a morning snuggle. Homework dates on the nights I don't have class so we can sit side by side doing our work. And quick moments of confidence while we are getting dressed in the morning.

They aren't long luxurious moments. We get those on weekends (sometimes) and in the months where I don't have class. But these little moments are something special, and they are ours.

boyfriend

Ada came home from school the other day and informed Elliot that her little, sweet friend Christopher is her (gasp) boyfriend. We know Christopher, he was the only little boy at her last birthday party, he is the only boy allowed into Ada's little clique of girls, and Ada talks about him almost as much as she talks about her favorite girl friends.

Looking back - we probably should have seen this coming.

But we didn't.

At first I thought it meant that he was just a boy that was a friend (and really that's about all it is at this age), but she gets that giggly school girl look on her face whenever she talks about him. Seriously, Ada is going through her first full blown crush.

To top it all off, last night Ada informed us that if she grows up at the same time as Christopher they are going to get married. At least she understands that getting married is a grown up action.

As with most phases in Ada's life we are doing our best to just ride this one out, calling on the old adage, "This too shall pass".

That being said, Elliot is sharpening his knife collection as we speak.

spa days

As Elliot fixes up our old house for tenants, Ada and I have had some special 'girls days'. These aren't much different than normal days except that Elliot is not there, but to Ada these are exceptional days (or nights).

I asked her last night (as we spent a 'girls night' together) if she liked hanging out with me - 'YES'. Satisfied and a little relieved I followed up by asking her if she liked hanging out with both Mommy and Daddy better - 'Yes, but I like girls days better'. Aww melt my little heart.

Then realizing she is only 4 and I could be a cheesy and dorky as I wanted I asked her if we could do girls days even when we get older.

(No response just a big smile.)

And maybe we could do spa days when you get older.

(BIG smile) A Beauty Spa?!?! (side note: Fancy Nancy has an Ola la Beauty Spa book that Ada LOVES)

Yes, spa days are great.

(confused look comes over Ada's face) But all of my clothes will be to small for me then. What will I wear to the spa.

Well honey - you'll have clothes when you get older too..

(Big smiles once again)

That's settled, when Ada is going through teenage angst and rebelling against her mom - I'm pulling up this post as evidence that she once promised me that we could do not just spa days together, but BEAUTY spa days!

practice

I recently posted a status update to Facebook about how Ada had learned the practice of practice. I didn't think much of it, and neither did the Facebook world - it went relatively unnoticed (as do most of my status updates). But the update was true - we have started to teach Ada how to practice, especially when she isn't immediately good at something.

I thought this was all pretty normal, until this week when I happened upon a couple of articles which, among other things, touched on the topic of practice and pushing your kids. There is the Amy Chua camp that espouses that Chinese mother's do it better and then the Wendy Sachs camp that says working mom's don't have the time to do it the Chinese way and questions if that way is really better after all. I want to go on record that I firmly believe that each parent should parent how they want to parent and deserve the right to do that without being judged (except the ones that do drugs in front of their kids or use their kids to commit crimes - those ones I have a problem with).

After reading the point of view of both of these (very accomplished) women I started to reflect back on my practice time with Ada and with my practice time as a kid and I have a whole other theory, but first - some summary info for those who don't want to go out to read the articles.

The Chinese Mom camp is of the mind that to have smart, disciplined, accomplished children you need to spend hours upon hours drilling, quizzing, and berating your kids until they produce the results you want. I'd argue that this is just a different take on the theory that it takes 10,000 hours to perfect anything and that apparently the Chinese Moms just like to get in the express lane where they don't take breaks for childhood. To each their own.

The Working Mom camp basically says there aren't enough hours in the day (or quality time with your kids) to use those precious post work, pre-bedtime hours drilling, quizzing, and berating. To this the Chinese Mom would call the Working Mom - LAZY (but she would only be trying to help her reach her full potential).

I have a different idea. No one ever falls in love with something they don't innately enjoy all on their own. This is not to say that kids will only love the things they are naturally good at or that they should only be asked to take on tasks that they enjoy, but more to say that unless the practice is fun or at least remotely enjoyable, the end result will be an extremely talented kid (or adult) that wants desperately to do something else.

I have zero scientific evidence to back me up here, all I have is anecdotal evidence from my observations and experiences. But my goal in teaching Ada the practice of practice is to help her find ways to make her practice fun and challenging all at the same time. Will I make her do things that she doesn't want to do? Probably. But my promise to her as her mother and one half of her guide through the early part of her life is that I will try my best to find the art of practice that works best for her. I'll be there to challenge her to constantly work at her talents. But I will also allow for an occasional day off, and we will most definitely take breaks for childhood.

(Right now the Chinese Mom is calling me SOFT)

do nothing days...

One of Ada's favorite cartoons is 'Phineas & Ferb', the story of two step brothers who spend their summer vacation thinking up adventures and executing on them only to have all evidence of their shenanigans conveniently disappear right as their older sister is about to 'bust her brothers'. I'm not sure what part of all of this show Ada loves the most, but I'm sure glad she likes it - after all - there is only so much Mickey Mouse Club House one family can endure.

Anyway, one of the episodes we've seen a couple of times has P&F enjoying a 'Do Nothing Day' where they lay out in their backyard enjoying the perfectness of the warm sunny day. Since my injury, and Elliot's need to work on the old house to get it ready for tenants, Ada and I have had a couple of 'Do Nothing Days' where we actually do something but far less than we used to so it must seem like nothing to Ada's simple four year old mind.

I love these days. We get to do Mommy/Ada stuff that we never had time for before. We've made cookies, practiced gymnastics, gone to the park, made bread from scratch, watch The Sound of Music, and my favorite of all - got in lots and lots of snuggle time.

As I heal up and become more agile and Ada grows more independent I know our time will once again fill up, but for now, I'm LOVING our Do Nothing Days (where we actually do a whole lot).