definitely not in charge

Ada has been waking up at least once a night to feed. She is so small and obviously hungry at these wake ups that I don't want to take them away from her, but I'd rather the feed happen before I go to bed than in the middle of the night. I have heard about "dream feeds" where you nurse your child while they are still sleeping and then put them back to bed with a full tummy. What a perfect solution, I thought. So last night I went into Ada's room around midnight, lifted her out of her crib, and sat down in our nursing chair. She didn't even notice. When I tried to feed her, her mouth was clamped shut. She wasn't hungry at that moment and there was nothing I could do to get more milk in her tummy. Giving up I stood up from the chair and she arched her back until she felt herself being put back down, reached behind her head, grabbed her binky, and managed to open the jaws of death long enough to get the binky in. Basically saying - I could have opened my mouth if I wanted to, but I obviously didn't want to, if I had I would have cried out and THEN you should have come in to try to feed me.