negotiations

As a parent 'Teachable Moments' come along almost every hour. I'm a dork. I love these moments. Which means that I often see a chance to teach something to Ada that most parents wouldn't think of teaching a four year old. Our daily subtraction lessons are some of my favorite moments (and Ada's as well since it involves eating yummy things) and to give Ada credit she often puts up with my absurd exuberance around seemingly mundane activities, playing along, because apparently Mommy isn't such a big fan of "Princess Froggie" but LOVES to play "School".

Well last night as we loaded up the car to head out to the grocery store I laid the plan out for Ada. First we were going to do our grocery shopping, and then after that we were going to fill up our water jugs. To which Ada flatly replied, "How about we fill up the water jugs first and then go shopping." It is worded like a question, but really it was a statement, Ada's way of stamping her full control on the family activity. And if you think about it, that change didn't really matter, we were going to do both either way and the order doesn't really matter. However, it was at this moment that I thought "Ah, teachable moment, let's start her training in negotiation" (I know, what the heck was I thinking). Here is how that conversation went:

"How about we fill up the water jugs first, and then go shopping."

"Well, I'm open to negotiate that"

"What?"

"Negotiate, it means to offer an alternative with conditions attached"

"Huh?"

(Elliot stepping in) "Well you could say, If we fill up the water jugs first, then I'll sit quietly in the cart while we shop, or I'll eat all of my dinner.. get it?"

"Oh, yeah..."

(back to me) "Ok, so what are you going to offer up as a concession in the negotiations?"

"Huh"

"What are you going to trade for filling up the water first?"

"Oh.. (very confidently) I'll eat all of my dinner."

(Seeing an opportunity to flip the negotiations around) "OK, we are having avocado for dinner" (Ada hates avocado)

"No, I'll have something different"

"Dinner isn't negotiable, we are having avocado"

"But I don't like avocado, why would you make me have avocado"

(Elliot helping out again) "Why don't you offer an alternative dinner?"

"Umm"

(back to me) "OK, how about we have salmon and spinach for dinner?"

(Getting the hang of this negotiation thing) "Well, how about broccoli and salmon"

"You got it, but you have to eat everything that we put on your plate. If you don't then you have to sleep on the bottom bunk and go to bed early"

"OK" (confident that she could handle both salmon and broccoli)

At this point, I thought to myself, I could push this further and pile on a whole lot of both to her plate just to teach her that she has to be aware of all parameters of the negotiation (I'm such a mean mom). And just as I was finishing this thought Ada piped up with, "OK, but it has to be a whole lot of salmon and just a little of broccoli."

It was as if she had read my mind. AND she totally figured out the whole negotiating thing, at least in that instance. I love watching Ada actually get something like this. You can almost see the light bulb on top of her head.

Of course I'll regret this day somewhere down the line when Ada turns these skills on me while we battle out her teenage years. If last night is any indication - I'm screwed..